Posts Tagged ‘php’

1. Adulescent – Dresses and acts like he’s 16 although he’s now in his 30s.
2. Barbiedcutie - Would be attractive woman who has spent too long on the sunbeds.
3. Brandroid – Everything in their life has a brand on it not just their clothes.
4. Imobilised phone – In front of you at the check out with only a few items but too
   busy on their phone to pay, pack and move on. Shop assistants won’t challenge them if you do your clearly a lower form of life.
5. Robbin’ Hoodies – Hoodie wearing youths hanging round wherever there is light with no where better to go.
6. Mosher – Neo Goths in their all black uniforms hanging round where the Robbin’ Hoodies aren’t.
7. Sugar Plum Scary – Some mothers used to dress their kids to look like them and that was frightening. Now some mothers dress like their 8 year old which is far, far, far scarier.
8. Anorakxia – Thin, pale individuals who frequently lack social skills but who can bore you on a diverse range of subjects from Apples latest Operating System to a TV show that isn’t available over here yet but they’ve downloaded the first three series from the US.
9. Black Collar Worker – People who work in marketing and other creative jobs who who wear a uniform of designer jeans and polo neck shirts in ten thousand shades of black.
10. iPod Shuffler – They move in a rythmic way that suddenly jumps as their iPod randomly picks another track.
11. Sticker Stacker – You see them in the supermarket. They came in for milk and bread but the lure of Buy One Get One free was too much and now they can’t decide how many they need so they’ll have to take the lot.
12. Saga Louts – Over sixty, Over there and Over the Top. But most of the time over here wanting to be over there. You may find them, as I did tonight, hanging round bus stops. My Saga Lout told me about the football score and then told me a dozen jokes. Badly. Then he wandered off without catching a bus.
13. Google Eyed – Someone who has spent too much time on the Internet and now has a rather odd stare

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1. A reasonably up to date computer with at least the recommended specification for any of the software.
2. For landscapes I use Vue. There are different versions Vue 6 Easel is the cheapest and a good starting point or if you have a bit more cash to spend get Vue 6 Esprite. Once you know what your doing you’ll probably want Vue Infinite, which I use and which was used for Pirates of the Caribbean II and III.
3. For adding figures Poser 7 and a willingness to overcome an interface which many find frustrating. The alternative is Daz Studio which is free and has a nicer interface but doesn’t work as well with Vue.
4. To touch up or play with your finished pictures Photoshop Elements is a good choice. I find Photoshop elements does most things I want to and isn’t going to set me back by a huge chunk of cash. If you want to dive into animation you can get Premier Element bundled in too but I’d get the hang of the basics of still 3D work first as animation is a lot harder to learn.
5. Vue 6 Revealed is a good book to help you learn.
6. For sea pictures Monsoon’s Sea Vue adds some nice extra stuff you can use in your pictures.
7. For space pictures Monsoon’s Postcards from the Rim.
8. For landscapes the TerraPak toolkit for Vue 6 is a great starting point.
9. Vue comes with some plants but you’ll probably want more. Realms Art, Martin Frost and Linda Daireaux’ Incredibly Lush plants at Cornucopia 3D are all well worth considering.
10. I’ve been a member of Daz’s Platinum Club since it launched. It lets you buy lots of Poser and Daz Studio stuff cheap or at a discount. Once you’ve got it you’ll probably want Victoria 4 and Michael 3 and some of their basic clothing packs. I’d suggest restraint though. Don’t get drawn into buying every shinny new outfit with a discount. Buy the ones you need for a specific picture when you’re going to make it.
11. If you got Vue 6 Infinite and you’re working with Poser figures SkinVue and the Daz and/or Poser plug in depending on which figures you use will improve the look of your figures in Vue.
12. Keep and eye on 3D World Magazine and to a lesser extent ImagineFX and some of the other computer graphics magazines like Computer Arts for useful free stuff and tutorials. I’d be careful of Digit as it’s cover disc often sounds more tempting than it really is, in my opinion.
13. Time to work through vue tutorials, time to spend on vue forums asking questions and time to play more.

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1. Finish short story for ASTONISHING ADVENTURES MAGAZINE – Success
2. Work on my novel – Failed misserably
3. Tidy my flat: Mostly except one room which is a tip
4. Reading – lots of it: Not quite lots but some
5. Catching up on some DVD watching: Caught up
6. Go to the cinema – Saw "Run Fat Boy Run"
7. Work on my impworks web site: Failed but did some last night
8. Finish writing my first facebook application – Failed Misserably to touch this
9. Make some pictures with Vue: Success
10. Taking some photographs for Wordless Wednesday: Took four pictures and I used the only one already
11. Write at least one new python script for Vue: Failed
12. Go to the Liverpool 800 exhibition: Failed
13. Fail to do 50% of the above because of either sleeping in, getting a cold or bad weather: I’m blaming a cold that took out 8 days of my break

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What the sky falling on your head looks
like; and you can forget collecting any ruddy larks.

1. When they say it will only take a minute of your time it never is. I wouldn’t mind but they’ll never give me an address for me to send my bill.
2. 99% are a waste of my time and the company paying for its time. I don’t need new double-glazing tested to withstand the long artic winter.
3. When they pretend to be calling on behalf of a company you actually deal with for something important but can’t tell you which one or my name. The law has two words for that – False Pretences. I also have two words for it but I’m too polite to say them here.
4. That they call at times their statistical models say they will catch me and make a sale. Otherwise known as dinnertime and when I’m in the shower.
5. When you ask them nicely to go away they’ve been told they have to keep trying. They’ve been taught we are too polite to hang up. I’m not too polite I apologise and do it anyway then I feel bad because I’ve been rude and that makes me angry for about five minutes. Then I think why am I the one who is angry and hope their boss has an accident at a demonstration of stone cladding double glazing and ends up with an attractive new look.
6. That an over-paid marketing executive is so uncreative; so burnt out; and so lacking in ideas at their job that they think this is the best way to make me like their brand and buy their mythril framed double-glazing. If you can’t come up with a better strategy why not get work doing something you’re good at. Something honest. Like robbing banks.
7. I’m signed up to the Telephone Preference Service (UK) so the ones that call me are they’re ignoring that. Basically I only get the really unethical cold callers with the cheapest scripts, Dickensian sweatshop conditions and the staff who’ve already taken the most stick.
8. They have to have my number either from a company I’ve given it to for some important reason or be using hardware that calls banks of numbers. One is a breach of trust the other is an abuse of the phone system. At least when you get an obscene call your not the only one getting abused*
9. Friends use answer phones to screen calls for cold callers and I hate speaking to answer phones. The beep makes me a gibbering idiot. I can’t put words together in the right order. I’m more coherent speaking to an attractive woman than an answer phone. The only worse thing is an attractive woman’s answer phone.
10. Sometime I get more cold calls in a month when I’m in than I get calls from people I know. Make your own punch line up for that one.
11. When the phone rings and you’re expecting a call you get a bit excited. A bit like a small child, maybe it’s an attractive woman calling, but no it’s a cold call to sell me raspberry ripple flavoured double glazing.
12. A section of the most talented and well educated part of many developing countries population is sat around trying to sell me antique style double glazing because it’s cheaper to employ them than to come up with a smart targeted way of selling me double glazing for my car. The only experience of westerners workers in foreign call centres get is from cold calling. We hate their calls and they think we’re rude, obnoxious, angry bores who need double glazing. . That’s great form of cultural exchange.
13. That’s a great message to send when one of those workers is the leader of their nation in twenty years. One day one of them may have nuclear launch codes.

* This joke was "acquired" from Margaret Smith

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1. Finish short story for ASTONISHING ADVENTURES MAGAZINE
2. Work on my novel only another 20K or so to go
3. Tidy my flat
4. Reading – lots of it
5. Catching up on some DVD watching
6. Go to the cinema
7. Work on my impworks web site
8. Finish writing my first facebook application
9. Make some pictures with Vue
10. Taking some photographs for Wordless Wednesday
11. Write at least one new python script for Vue
12. Go to the Liverpool 800 exhibition
13. Fail to do 50% of the above because of either sleeping in, getting a cold or bad weather

Bonus 13 – 13 smileys to celebrate 25 years of the smiley

   Traitional   Wink   Noseless B-) Sunglasses  Wide Eyes   Unhappy    Kiss :-< Forlorn
:-\ Undecided -:-) Mohawk :-{} Wearing Lipstick   Tongue stuck out  %-^ Picasso

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1. Black Peppercorns
2. Mild Madras
3. Birdseye Red Chillies
4. Turmeric
5. Cinnamon
6. Green Cardamom
7. Ground Nutmeg
8. Tandoori Massala
9. Ground Ginger
10. Garam Masala
11. Celery Salt
12. Ground Coriander
13. Crystallised Ginger

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Willo-the-wisp. Made using the new 6.5 version of Vue 6 Infinite released today by e-on software featuring plants from Realms Art Wetland Plants.

1. A Police Box (Doctor Who)
2. A Wardrobe (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, C.S. Lewis)
3. A direct strike from a Nuclear warhead (Farnham’s Freehold, Robert A Heinlein)
4. A DeLorean (Back to the Future)
5. Visiting with fairies (Mythology)
6. Thinking hard (Heroes)
7. A Quantum Accelerator (Quantum Leap)
8. Cryogenics (The Door into Summer, Robert A Heinlein)
9. Being a Miser (A Christmas Carol, Dickens)
10. A Lame Demon (Paris avant les homes, Pierre Boitard)
11. A Time Machine (The Time Machine, H.G. Wells)
12. Just about any method you can think of covered above and a few that aren’t including travelling very fast and stepping through a portal (Star Trek)
13. Dreaming
14. Reading a good book
15. Setting your clocks to the wrong time
16. Living in an earlier time zone
17. Using the button at the bottom of the blogger panel to change the time or date

If you could travel in time when would you go to?

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1. You’ve Got To Laugh – Nik Kershaw. Arrived this week from Short House Records and in my CD player a lot since then. Includes a warning that it may include traces of irony. Traces? Some might say that alone is ironic. The tunes could be mistaken for pop. The lyrics are a little more complex than that.
2. The West Wing (Season 1). If there is one show I find my way back to over and over it’s the West Wing.
3. Bat Out of Hell 2 – Meat Loaf. Because Objects in the rear view mirror may appear closer than they are.
4. The Very Best of Incantation. I’m not a big listener to pan pipe music but Incantation are far too good to pigeonhole and ignore.
5. Mr Benn. It was research for something I was writing, honest.
6. The Way It Is – Bruce Hornsby and the Range. Have you noticed I like my lyrics complicated yet?
7. Set Me Free – Marion Raven. Nik’s knocked Marion out of my CD player but she’ll be back soon I’m sure.
8. Battle Star Galactica (Season 2). The only reason I’m not on The West Wing’s second season. Really enjoying this despite still thinking they should have kept the original shows theme.
9. A Cock and Bull Story. Not sure what to make of this. It was either brilliant or utter rubbish. I think I’ll lean towards the first of the two.
10. Local Hero Music by Mark Knopfler.
11. The Deceivers: Allied Military Deception in the Second World War – Thaddeus Holt. A heavy weight and slightly very dull history book but between the bickering over who commanded what when it does actually include some interesting history.
12. Sharpe’s Escape by Bernard Cornwell. I’ve barely started this yet because The Deceivers is taking a lot longer to read than I expected.
13. Carrotblanca – Bugs Bunny and Friends do Casablanca. Somehow it works. Don’t ask me how. It would be quicker to just watch it for yourself and see.

So what are you listening to / reading / watching at the moment?

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