Too Many Ideas - the impworks Blog

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-04-01

April 1st, 2012

• @Ghostwoods Not sure intent should factor? As to length shouldn't it be length independant and have a Covenant per Word score? #
• @Ghostwoods I wish I had the time to do a bit of dimensional analysis of story to find the fundamental units underlying a Covenant #
• @Ghostwoods @bishopjoey Given the stated methodology I concure on the approximate score #
• @Ghostwoods Silly thought: have you thought of running polls for different stories (maybe a week per story) to get community sourced scores? #
• For 20 years I've not needed to know Dimensional Analysis now twice in a month I'm fighting the urge to apply it to the analysis of fiction #
• @symatt Is it bring your twitter followers to work day at your place? #
• CD Player loaded with Lalo Schifrin's Mission Impossible soundtrack, Bond Themes and Bourne Identity. Now for a little writing… #
• TV presenter said thieves circumnavigate security system on a piece to camera on a recorded show – how did that get past the editors? #
• How long till Greggs launch the VAT-Free Cornish Pasty T-Shirts, a cover of Free Nelson Mandela & a concert in the Summer? #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM Crazy Busy here. Hardly have a moment to tweet. How are you? #
• @MoonWolf95 Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM I could settle for some boring and repetitive sometimes . Too much variety is the spice of headaches #
• @sciamannata Its the benign ruler and the stern henchbening summed up perfectly #
• TIme to roll the dice and see how it turns out (and by turns out I mean if our little toupe of investigators survive the Orient Express) #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-03-25

March 25th, 2012

• @magisterrex Thanks for the #ff #
• Went to Edward Burra's exhibition at the Lakeside Gallery http://t.co/3Cb7ndqS seemed a bit HP Lovecraft then a notices said he read HPL #
• @ghostfinder Core WordPress or a plug-in? Some plug-in developers seem to take pride in being obtuse. #
• @ghostfinder Strange. Are you on WP 3.3.1? Is that adding an image to a Post/Page as "Full Size"? #
• @ghostfinder The problem is in style.css (line 539) in the theme your using: max-width: 680px; You may be able to up that to 940px #
• @ghostfinder That should be the line (the container div for the content in 940px). #
• @ghostfinder Fair enough. The image as its inserted now has 680 on it as well so you'd have needed to reinsert at full size. #
• @ghostfinder My pleasure. Nice site #
• @Thisangelbites Ah the old cake on the seat trap. Check for a man looking like Inspector Clouseau with a rather cliched bomb nearby. #
• @jearle And was it a happy accident? #
• @call_me_salome @UriGrey How do coconuts palms know how many people have been killed by sharks to assassinate the right number each year? #
• @call_me_salome @UriGrey There is a certain Aristotlean quality to that suggesting its more true than psychic coconut palms. #
• @greywulf And with the added bonus of reducing the number of successful ninja attacks in the home. #
• @FakeTSR Well that explains 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th, 7th Ed + D&D Compendium (at least for those who didn't like them) #
• Got a strange comment on my blog that I can't decide if its cunning link spam or someone who is really enthusiastic. #
• @paulbaalham Normally I would but if its spam someones put a lot of effort and enthusiasm into it #
• @symatt Well if makes you feel better your avatar looks svelte as always but could do with a haircut #
• BBC News – HP Lovecraft: The man who haunted horror fans http://t.co/2nxQpGxL #
• @sizemore We need more detail is it a gothic cathedral, a 1960s shed or a Norman pile? And is it following casually or blatantly skulking? #
• .@Thisangelbites If it was down to size of the incubator Bird Flu and Swine Flu would have nothing on Elephant Flu #
• Greggs aren't happy about the budget but shrinking the length of some sandwiches isn't going to hurt the Government just our waistlines #
• Another underground station at Daz3D (I think thats 4 now) but I can't find a single underground train in the store = busy virtual platforms #
• @Thisangelbites My thought process is far too tangential today – Elephant Flu has me at I've seen a Horse Fly etc from Dumbo lol #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @magisterrex Thanks for the #FF #
• @Thisangelbites Thanks for the #ff and the #trumpetingnoises #
• Great works night out. Now I can bed calling. #
• @TheRealGelfie 1 bed and 1 spare. Turns out I was tireder than I thought. #
• @Locutus3d Thanks for the #FF #
• @d20plusmodifier Hope you feel better soon. #
• @Ghostwoods What rating would you give The Metamorphosis? #
• @MoonWolf95 Nice #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-03-18

March 18th, 2012

• @jearle In films its the European (inc UK). If there are several Europeans its probably Stellan Skarsgård. #
• I need 100cc of caffeine Stat! #
• "I have nothing to say/ and I am saying it/ and that is poetry/ as I need it." John Cage #
• John Carter: if you liked Flash Gordon, Star Wars, Serenity or any other proper space opera go see this #
• @Troppers Were you put off by its lack of previous experience of modelling or its slightly fishy disposition? #
• @Troppers Last thing you need is attitude from your model #
• @Barrok Thanks for the #ff #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• Current work project boxed off ☑ Mothering Sunday remembered ☑ Weekend ☑ #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-03-11

March 11th, 2012

• In a strange twist my character neither lost or gained San for a second session of Call of Cthulhu! #
• @MoonWolf95 Especially since the period the game is in rendering is something you do to meat #
• @MoonWolf95 I'd love to see them if you do #
• @Ghostwoods If you're going to be followed by something Cement related it doesn't get much better than Portland Cement. #
• Nothing says I love you're life insurance like a coffin RT @_whatkatydid_: Love is… http://t.co/bdqsvg5R
  via (@Thisangelbites) #
• Making up utter rubbish. And there isn't a law against it so neh! #
• @CraigWFSmith I'm just an enthusiastic amateur not sure I could make up rubbish full time like a pro #
• @jearle Nice – but will you offer a not quite so green PDF edition for those who print it out? #
• @jearle Fair enough if its print only that's not so much of a problem #
• @jearle I guess I'll probably keep it as a PDF then. Will it be available from the usual places? #
• @CraigWFSmith Some fantasy background with a strong historical element which I hope will come off as satirical #
• @sandchigger Sounds like it had a fair run. Now you can have the fun of breaking in a new one – not quite as mcuh fun as a puppy #
• @xtamsynx I'm really tempted to do a bad joke about buying something from a Welshman named Hair but I'll resist. #
• @CraigWFSmith At the moment an RPG with a smattering of fiction for scene setting #
• @xtamsynx That and telling the world what you had for lunch or organising the revolution/counter revolution from 1976. #
• Yeh! I'm now being followed by a cement bot but not just any cement Portland Cement. #
• @Jennisodes So good it looks just like Portland Stone #
• @xtamsynx Pork and stuffing on six grain wholemeal lol #
• Has Q Division got too much time on its hands? http://t.co/EKCedOqq via @skclements & @thedeadone #
• @pookie_uk I've been getting piano and sofa spam for 3 years now lol #
• @xtamsynx so did yours #
• @sandchigger Not coffee for me but I need my caffeine fix by lunch time #
• @pookie_uk I'd have to learn to play the piano first and I'll not ask why you're the target for sink spam #
• @pookie_uk Random spammer then because whose ever heard of zombies that wash before brains? #
• @StargazersWorld I can summarise my own feelings in one word: No #
• Well that 2.5 hours I won't get back. I love systems built with unnecessary constraints that ignore the real world. #
• @GRIMACHU @Ghostwoods @call_me_salome How about being one of the mice. The mice were cool. I'd rather be a mouse than one of the oppressors. #
• @GRIMACHU @Ghostwoods @call_me_salome Nb I once read a marxist interpretation of Bagpuss & Bagpuss, Emily etc are oppressors. Mice=Workers #
• @GRIMACHU @Ghostwoods @call_me_salome Ah. You've seen it too #
• @Ghostwoods @GRIMACHU @call_me_salome True. The Bagpuss interpretation poked lots of fun at it #
• @GRIMACHU Emily=Imperialist Overlord Nation Bagpuss=King Madeleine=Marie-Antoinette Yaffle=Pet Philosopher Gabriel=Propoganda Mice=Prols #
• @GRIMACHU That would be interesting: Bagpuss 1979. During the Winter of Discontent a discarded Punk toy causes the mice to overthrow system. #
• @Ghostwoods @GRIMACHU @call_me_salome I was crossing chaos symbols with brands the other day. An anarchy one could be fun #
• Time of the month to go and expend money so I can earn money but reduce shoe wear and tear expenditure. At least its sunny. #
• @agitatedclimax Stickers were peeled. Stickers were stamped. Stickers were written on. Sticker were stuck. Virtual money changed accounts. #
• @symatt Get well soon #
• @undercoverman You know I always thought he sounded like he should be French. Maybe some football fans haven't heard of him yet #
• Current Workflow: Open Streetmaps -> CityEngine -> Vue 10 -> Photoshop may be a bit of overkill for a handout for an #RPG #
• Life Lesson at Lunch 1: When confined to a wheel chair don't allow a gesticulating man to push you down a slope. #
• LLL2:If your too small XXX-Lrg T-shirt says "Call my agent" Guard you assaulted may ask "Who the Lard Promotion Board?" as Police arrest you #
• @GRIMACHU Very cool #
• @cogspa Nice gobo. Does the hair export nicely to other apps? #
• @cogspa That might sell me on getting Zbrush. I've tried lots of hair solutions but not found any that export well #
• As someone just DMd me: It wasn't in the wheel chair I witnessed the person in the wheel chair have a Battleship Potemkin moment. #
• + person in wheel chair was alright as passers by managed to catch him & buses blocked traffic in case he went into road. #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• 20 seconds till the weekend. #
• The lights gone green. Let the weekend begin. #
• @magisterrex Thanks for the #ff #
• @grahamwalmsley No #spoilers please I've only seen part 1 and I want to know how the '60s, '70s and '80s will turn out #
• @sandchigger More mundane but also more fun #
• @call_me_salome *Cough* Rustle Sweet wrappers. Shuffling of shoes. #
• After 2 years and six months of use my printer just told me it has 10% left in the black ink cartridge that was in it when it arrived lol. #
• @sandchigger Sadly whole races of fantasy creatures have never been catalogued that are notable for cleaning dungeons after adventurers #
• @call_me_salome I'd offer you Chocolate Coated Jellyfish Surprise but I can't throw from Liverpool to London #
• @sandchigger But have you ever heard about the creatures that heard them? The ones that free them when they get stuck in corners? #
• @sandchigger Next you'll be telling me no one knows how to tell the female slimes from the males slimes! #
• @xyleanne69 Its a test to see if you really want to play. Will you hunt it out and unpack to play. #
• @Troppers My sympathies I had quick healty food waiting for tonight but gave into a craving for something spicier for a Friday night instead #
• @xyleanne69 The Rapid GM Reaction force leaps into action! Moto: Have dice bag will travel. #
• @xyleanne69 It does have a nice ring to it #
• @GRIMACHU That 140 (and a bit) chars is worth more than all the reviews I've seen to date #
• @GRIMACHU The trailler sold me the film. Some of the reviews discouraged me some encouraged me but a personal thumbs up is a big plus. #
• @GRIMACHU Saddly my local Odeous only has it in 2D while I'll be in work. Apparently I'll have the privalidge of "special" JC glasses #
• @GRIMACHU I'd rather do without the first ten minutes being about trying to wear two pairs of glasses and refocus my eyes for a gimmick #
• @GRIMACHU And as a former projectionist and a CG hobbiest I want to enjoy both without interference #

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-03-04

March 4th, 2012

• This adventure isn't going to write itself… #
• @Ghostwoods Wow a rating of 4.1/10 on IMBD now thats Bad with a capital B. #
• @shainorton @mouseferatu He'll have someones eye out running round with that. #
• @GeekyLyndsay My solution: Limiting myself to what I can carry and not going in game shops #
• That was a first – barber offered to cut my eyelashes. Any of you been offered that or had them trimmed? #
• @agitatedclimax When did the Sweeny Todd Barbers and Meat Pie company become more customer focused? #
• @Myrkwell They'd not get a dolls worth from mine! They're not short but I've not got Denis Healey eyebrows #
• @MoonWolf95 I'd have thought it risked looking scarier. I asked & apparently men "of all ages" do have it done at that barbers! #
• @agitatedclimax Need a nice bit of onion gravy and a good shortcrust to really perfect it. #
• @MoonWolf95 I didn't ask but I did wonder if they have special eyebrow scissors. Maybe a tiny special trimmer? A special spray? #
• @MoonWolf95 You'd have to be a lot braver than me to let anyone do that! #
• @Barrok I did wonder afterwards if the barber ment eyebrows Woman seem to think its a bit weird too so way past metrosexual! #
• @Barrok I'd have laughed too – but I don't laugh at people with a selection of sharp scissors in arms length #
• @darkdwarf Yeh eyelashes. Eyebrows I could sort of see. I'm still wondering if they ment them lol. #
• @FACT_Liverpool That link goes to a nasty runtime error page #
• @sandchigger Morning(ish) #
• @sandchigger 6AM – that's an unnatural hour and ought to be banned. #
• Accidentally translating a site of lorum ipsum with an online translation tool makes for intriguing (nonsense) reading #
• Nice to see some old friends and catch up over a drink and a meal. #
• @Thisangelbites Unlike a date I guess that comes with a recipe which hopefully guarantees at least a satisfactory ending to the night #
• @Thisangelbites I wonder if its less politically correct to rate dates on the Scoville scale or dates from the RAC to Michelin Star level? #
• @greywulf By then they'll be lighting the place by burning back issues so more a case of blowing out the flames. #
• @greywulf But will they be able to explain why they stored all that petrol, magnesium and matches in one place? #
• @ghostfinder The UK eurovision panel from '73 made picked him: they may have gone mad, be is in a coma or have traveled forward in time #
• @greywulf Why am I seeing an inverted remake of All the President's Men here with Leveson and Watson going after the Murdochs? #
• @greywulf Wonder if it will be made by 20th Century Fox? #
• @geekchic85 Welcome to feeling old #
• @greywulf Leveson to be played by Mark Strong. Watson by Alan Rickman. All the bad guys will be brits. And Hugh Grant will play Hugh Grant. #
• @geekchic85 lol. Once it starts… professional sports people are younger that you. Next the police. Then you don't know any chart songs. #
• @greywulf Her national treasure status allows English Heritage to insist on her inclusion. And Hugh Grant has played other roles… #
• @greywulf …in Four Weddings and a Funeral he had to perfect swearing repeatedly which I don't think he's done since #
• @greywulf With Meryl Streep as the chimes Westminster Chimes #
• @MoonWolf95 I think she may have been cloned if you look at her IMDB credits listing. There's no way one person does all that work. #
• @MoonWolf95 But Hugh is almost perfect to play Blair @greywulf #
• @MoonWolf95 Unfortunately he'd retired so we'd get Rodger Moore instead #
• @greywulf Night #
• @greywulf Perfect casting. #
• @MoonWolf95 I had an eye complaint a few years ago and from emergency GP appointment to treatment via consultants was around 3 hours! #
• @MoonWolf95 No. I had a rare, cheap to treat condition. The more likely condition have been costs the NHS £££ to treat each year for life. #
• @MoonWolf95 lol yup his range is sometimes a little limited. #
• Good night world #
• @Barrok Thanks for the #ff #
• @magisterrex Thanks for the #ff #
• @MoonWolf95 Thanks for the #ff #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• A man standing in the middle of the road just licked his phone & shouted at a woman "You'll not make calls on my mobile again!" #

Safe House Movie Review

March 1st, 2012

Ten years ago The Bourne Identity and its sequels redefined action spy thrillers.   The Bourne Identity is beef bourguignon.

Safe House looks like Bourne.  Safe House smells like Bourne.  Safe House even tastes like Bourne.  But Safe House is missing that meaty Bourne texture.  Yes ladies and gentlemen Safe House is The Quorn Identity.

Weston (Ryan Reynolds) and Frost (Denzel Washington) are, if I take my beef bourguignon analogy a bit too far, the red wine is the sauce.  Yet they don’t have the chemistry of Matt Damon and Franka Potente – they aren’t a fine Burgundy.

Like Bourne Safe House has a heavy weight supporting cast: Brendan Gleeson, Vera Farmiga, Liam Cunningham, Robert Patrick and Sam Shepard.  It has the distinctive look Oliver Wood brought to a certain trilogy.

What lets Safe House down is the plot.  It just doesn’t have a lot of plot to chew on.  The mystery around who the bad guys are, the Weston’s romance and the tenuous threads holding the plot together are all a bit contrived.  It tries to replace the meat of plot with its action which is done well but isn’t sadly enough beef to turn this film into beef bourguignon.

If you switch off your brain Safe House is an enjoyable enough action film but it’s not classic French stew.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-02-26

February 26th, 2012

• No plan survives Monday morning. #
• @Troppers Trying to come up with something more creative than nice geese photo. I'm failing miserably so… Nice Geese Photo #
• @DanDiplo At least a Shrove isn't as vicious when cornered as a toothy Haggis. #
• A little WordPress for a Tuesday afternoon #
• @MoonWolf95 @Hell_On_Wheelz lol. I'm building a WordPress site for a client at work #
• @MoonWolf95 Well we do have two jobs for designers advertised here at the moment but the commute to Liverpool might be a bit far for you #
• @jearle I inflicted the Curse of the Grocer's' Apostraphe on an NPC the other day #
• Personal Gas Detectors are very serious and are nothing to do with school boy humour. #
• @MoonWolf95 Saddly we need someone in the office as some things just can't be done by telecommute. Liverpool its even better now #
• Writing random tables shouldn't be this much like hard work lol #
• You know that I know that Amazon knows that Romanoff and Juliet isn't available on DVD (which will only make sense if you've seen it) #
• In 2058 Programmers twitch will be identified as an industrial disease caused by remembering too many username/password combinations. #
• Overheard outside Sayers… Japanese Tourist "What is a sausage roll?" American Tourist "Its a traditional British street food delicacy." #
• @ianf lol. In that dystopia they'll implant nano chips at birth with our identity and fit us with brainscanners to capture our timeline IRT. #
• Back from the enjoyable The Woman in Black and great meal at @tapastapas love the new chairs. #
• @tapastapas Very comfortable – too many restaurant chairs and tables look good but aren't nice to sit on. Plus look good too #
• 800 pages of technical documentation and each one is a full house at buzzword bingo. #
• Did no one at Colemans think an ad where a slightly mad bull sits down for chicken tika seems like a metaphor for BSE? #
• @KimKnox Can they introduce quality control on the buskers and insist they know at least 20 Beatles song rather than 6? #
• @ser_timothy I'd not spotted the similarity before but now you mention it lol #
• @Barrok Thanks for the #ff #
• @grahamwalmsley You have been added to the list. When scammers take control of the county you'll be held to account with Pike and Mainwaring #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @magisterrex Thanks for the #ff #
• @Ghostwoods lol. Wish I'd had a camera the day I found myself on a train with a couple of dozen elvis impersonators. #
• @Ghostwoods There were all sorts of different Elvisis. They were on their way to a competition for a chance to go to Vegas. #
• @Ghostwoods Some were doing what I can only describe as freestyle: Japanese Elvis, Soviet Elvis and plastic Elvis #
• @call_me_salome Takes all sorts: Traffic to mine surged when I compared the film the expendables to a quiche. #
• Dear busker that Jet Plane you've been leaving on for weeks are you stuck in a long line wait passport control or are you on a no fly list? #
• @ehlanakovas Not quite one song but repetative and pitches up here fairly regularly #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• How about slow roast orc cheeks instead #cookahalflingfriday ? @DaddyDM @KimKnox @cha0tic @RPGdonts @symatt @greywulf @impworks @AmpTheBard #
• @symatt It has been awhile lol #
• @DaddyDM Marinate cheeks in beer w veg, herbs & peppercorns. Cook in oven gas mark 1 for 3 hours. Serve with mash & a leaf salard. #
• @ThumbCulture Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM I'm assuming orc and pig cheeks are roughly similar #
• @DaddyDM But what tastes of chicken? I'd say elf but they live so long they have to be tough as boots. #
• @demilitarizdSM lol. I can see that or possibly something a bit gamier like pheasant #
• @DaddyDM Do you have to bake pixies in clay to remove the wings or am I getting confused? #
• @DaddyDM With photographic illustrations and recipes. #
• @DaddyDM @RPGdonts @symatt @AmpTheBard @greywulf Aromatic crispy Harpy with pancakes and hoisin sauce #
• @DaddyDM Don't worry once Delia does them on TV every supermarket will have them (is there a US version of the Delia effect?) #
• @symatt ᶦˢ ᵗʰᶦˢ ᵇᵉᵗᵗᵉʳ﹖ #
• @sandchigger But it is. Its just your perception that says its linear #
• @sandchigger Probably not especially if your boss is trapped in the linear perception of time too #
• @symatt Try this… http://t.co/v3pbo8hA #
• @jearle Hark is that the sound of SLA fanboys screaming in the distance? #
• @garymurning Its legible but I'd be tempted to going a touch larger to make it easier to read. #
• @garymurning I tend to view sites with fonts slightly small and have to remember to go the other way lol #
• @KimKnox I did an EU funded work experience scheme they can be a big help. Unless they're paid & interdependently checked its exploitation. #
• @MarcUpdates Arr Matey! #
• @simplychrista Warmish but grey here. Hope the painting goes well. #
• A little Captain Puwash for @MarcUpdates http://t.co/GZSWblOu #
• @Troppers Just cleaned it? If the temperature stays up I've got to defrost the freezer. Isn't being an adult fun #
• @Troppers I know that feeling – I've put off doing it twice now lol. #
• Watching the Andromeda Strain. #
• In a strange twist of creativity I need to go and get a Sayers Sausage roll for a blog post. Maybe a Greggs one too for balance lol. #
• Well that was the right time to put on the six nations – two tries #
• @undeadbydawn What really annoys me (as someone who found work through an EU funded Work Experience scheme) is that if it was done… #
• @undeadbydawn …right (paid, voluntary & good chance of a job) rather than to exploit & demonise the unemployed & force down pay for low… #
• @undeadbydawn …paid while lining rich companies pockets it could be a good thing #
• Whas is a Sayers Sausage Roll? http://t.co/kdqD12y3 #
• @johnlambshead More expensive if you drop it in the loo! #
• @johnlambshead And if you find there is no loo roll in public toilet can't be used as emergency replacement. #
• @cthulhuchick Saddly I don't have a picture of me as a cloud as that might compete with you for worst costume #
• @johnlambshead Maybe this is the selling point old media need to push to win back customers – softer and more adsorbent than new media #
• @greywulf If I had a cat I'd not line its litter tray with NotWiSC (News of the World in Sheep's Clothing) #

What is a Sayers Sausage Roll?

February 25th, 2012

What is a Sayers Sausage Roll?  I suppose that could be a philosophical question but I’m thinking of things a little more concrete.  A Sayers sausage roll is different things to different people…

First Encounters of a Sausage Roll Kind

I remember when I was a student describing them as napalm wrapped in crispy cardboard.  If you eat it hot the pastry is crunch but the filling will burn the roof off your mouth.  Wait for the filling to cool and you risk the pastry goes fatty on the bottom.  Leave it to go cold and you risk the pastry going soft.  The filling is a strange sort of texture free, pink material that has been waved past pork at some point in its creation.

Sayers Sausage Roll

Wikipedia

Wikipedia in a meat related stub says

“A Sausage Roll is a type of savoury pastry commonly served at parties and available from bakeries and milk bars as a take-away food item. Originating from the United Kingdom, it is also very popular in the Republic of Ireland, Canada, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand, Belgium, and the Netherlands.”

History

Now Sayers is a Liverpool institution founded a hundred years ago with 150 odd shops in the North West.  When I arrived in Liverpool it was the dominant bakers across the city.  If you needed something to eat and didn’t know of a better shop nearby you could at least guarantee a Sayers nearby and that the food would be just like every other Sayers.  In any busy row of more than a dozen shops the odds would be on there being a Sayers.  Often there would be two one toward each end of a row of shops.

Then came Greggs.

Greggs spread across the city as they’ve spread across the country.  Sayers faced real competition:  Greggs shops were more modern, the food a tiny bit more expensive, a tiny bit more modern and the food a tiny bit more exotic.  It divided people: do you eat at Greggs or at Sayers?  I’ve seen family groups go into both a Sayers and a Greggs to get sausage rolls.

Greggs Sausage Roll

Market Research

I did a quick survey of Sausage Roll availability at the shops near where I live.

Iceland Sausage Roll

The Science Bit

Well sort of the science bit.  OK its completely unscientific.  A sample of sausage rolls were bought from each seller for measurement, tasting and dissection.

Sausage Roll Length Comparison

The Sausage Roll Disections…

Greggs Sausage Roll Cross Section

Iceland Sausage Roll Cross Section

Sayers Sausage Roll Cross Section

Taste and Crumble Test

It was a dirty job but someone had to do it.  I tasted all three sausage rolls.  Its been some time since I’ve had a Sayers sausage roll: it seemed to me the filling has been improved.  Less like a vaguely flavoured napalm mousse and more like lightly spiced sausage meat.  I couldn’t really say there was a significant difference between the Sayers and Greggs sausage rolls.  The Iceland one had a spicier filling but was generally as palatable.

The most noticeable difference was the pastry.  The Sayers pastry was slightly crublier than the Greggs while the Iceland one had a more robust puff pastry possibly engineered to survive transportation better than the others.

An Outsiders Perspective?

Working on the edge of Liverpool’s Cavern Quarter there are tourists about all year round.  I was walking past a Sayers last week and I overheard a conversation between two tourists.  I’m not going to try and reproduce it word for word but more in spirit…

Japanese Tourist “What is a Sayers sausage roll?”

American Tourist “A sausage roll is a traditional British street food delicacy.”

Japanese Tourist “Yes but what is a Sayers sausage roll?”

The Woman in Black Review with Notes for Roleplayers

February 23rd, 2012

The Woman in Black is a solid attempt to make a classic ghost story from the revived Hammer .  The film making combines the best of the old school Hammer with 21^st century production values.  It takes a classic approach to horror eschewing the slasher / blood and gore school of horror.

The cinema I saw it in wasn’t completely full but was very close.  There were lots of teenagers there to see Daniel Radcliffe.  The teenagers next to us couldn’t believe a 12A could be a horror.  Half an hour later they literally jumped feet out of their seats at the first fright and one was watching through his fingers by the end.  And they loved every minute of it.

The Woman in Black’s production values are extremely good with excellent cinematography and dramatic editing.  The sets are beautifully dressed and atmospheric.  The score is jarring in all the right places building tension not distracting from it.  There was a nice mix of old school practical effects and CG.  I’d be interested to know if the island was enhanced or even created with Vue as there was just a touch of something artificial about it.

Having only around half the Potter films I’m not trapped in seeing Daniel Radcliffe as Harry.  Daniel Radcliffe is on-screen in pretty much every scene and gives a solid performance that is maybe a little wooden in places. But that could just be him playing a rather tightly strung young Edwardian lawyer whose job depends on resolving the estates paperwork and who is still in morning for his wife.  There were good supporting performances especially from Ciarán Hinds and Janet McTeer while I’d like to have seen more of Mary Stockley’s Mrs. Fisher and some of the other locals.

If you enjoy an old-fashioned Hammer ghost story with a quality modern production The Woman in Black is well worth a trip to the cinema.

The Woman in Black Roleplaying Notes

If I was going to run something inspired by The Woman in Black as a roleplaying game I’d probably use it as a scenario for D&D Ravenloft, Trail of Cthulhu with Shadow over Filmland or a Victorian age mortals World of Darkness game.  If you want to turn it on its head you could use it in a game of Lost Souls with the PCs taking the roles of ghostly children.

The majority of the story takes place in an isolated Northumberland coastal town.  It’s a backwater with a post office, grocers, a single public house with a few rooms for paying guests and a solicitors.  The Daily’s, the richest couple in the town, have the only car while other residents use horse-drawn vehicles.  The date of the events in the film is sometime in the late early 20th century judging by the relatively new Rolls Royce Silver Ghost Mr Daily drives. Electricity hasn’t reached the town yet.  The only communication with the outside world is by post or telegraph – there are no telephones in town.  Its two changes on train from London.  The railway station is some way from the town and is on a small branch line with a limited service.

The locals are hostile and suspicious of strangers especially anyone planning on going to the island.  Whenever someone even glimpses the Lady in Black a child dies in a terrible accident.  The locals are over protective of their children and hide them from strangers.  Player Characters can expect a very unfriendly welcome.

Across a causeway open only at low tide from the town on an island stands a classic haunted house.  Its overgrown grounds include a small graveyard.  The house itself is run down and full of junk.  There are stuffed animals, broken furniture, clockwork toys and old oil paintings on the wall.

Within the houses walls is hidden the evidence of a dark family secret.  A woman declared insane.  A child adopted and isolated from his natural mother.  A tragic death with the body never found.  A suicide.

The titular Woman in Black is a ghost associated with the death of children.  She’s out for revenge on the town and kills children by possessing them before forcing them to kill themselves.  Ghosts of the children she has killed manifest on the island and sometimes in other places.  The ghost of her son manifests but not at the same time as she does so they don’t meet.

The children can communicate through possession of Daily’s wife.  They can speak through her but are more likely to use her to draw crude images by scratching surfaces with sharp objects.

Key to PCs solving the mystery are:

• Basic paperwork provided to investigator on way to the scene
• Superstition about The Lady in Black and the house from the locals
• Birth, Death and Institutionalization certificates that can be found at the house
• Letters from The Lady in Black at the house
• Scratched messages from ghost children through possessed woman
• Birthday cards from The Lady in Black to her son
• Son’s body lost in the marshes around the causeway

The player characters and their loved ones are threatened by accidental death resulting from the Lady in Black’s possession of children.  Their sanity is challenged by the effects of her haunting.

In addition to possessing children The Lady in Black can visually manifest and scream although she never speaks.  She can affect objects including locking and unlocking doors in the house, affect clockwork toys causing them to work without being wound and affect other objects including a rocking chair.  At least once she cause an impenetrable darkness to appear behind her.

The Ghost of her son can visually manifest on the causeway, the island and in the house.  He can leave a trail of muddy footprints.

The other ghosts appear to be able to visually manifest and possess Mrs Daily.

The haunting can be ended by finding the information about what has gone on.  This allows the PCs to search the marsh for the body lost in the mud near the cross marking the rough location of the son’s death.  Placing the cards sent by the woman in black with the body and winding the toys in his room will summon the lady and lay her to rest.  She and the other ghosts may not go immediately to their grave.

Twitter Weekly Updates for 2012-02-19

February 19th, 2012

• @GRIMACHU By alive do you mean a) Awake b) On Twitter c) It's Alive!!! ? #
• Bug squashing across the universe. Always going forward 'cause we can't find reverse. #
• @GRIMACHU In that case… sorry nobody here but us bots #
• @GeekyLyndsay Morning #
• @iancockayne Very cool. I was starting to worry you were having a busmans holiday till I spotted this #
• Marcus L Roland has added the complete text of Sir Howard Vincent's Police Code 15th ed (1912) to the FF website #
• @KimKnox Marcus has assembled a wonderfull collection of stuff hasn't he and FF raises money for a good cause too #
• @SarahDarkmagic I thought they'd died a death in the gutter they sprang from before I started playing in the late 80s #
• @BrainClouds A lot nicer than forcing them to dig caves like they were made to in Nottingham in medieval times #
• @cimota Did you see the story about the landlord who halved all his rents. Then 1 shop about to shut. Now 7 in use and 3 to open. 0 empty. #
• Roleplayers I'd love to know what you think of these maps I've been working on this weekend http://t.co/duc1HVrc #rpg #maps #
• @call_me_salome lol. They've already fixed some stuff that was really mad when they rolled it out. #
• @call_me_salome When they first rolled it out you had to work out where you clicked to tweet as it wasn't obvious anymore! #
• @call_me_salome Catch 22: Twitter is a simple concept – adding to it risk detracting from it. So they do radical cosmetic redesigns instead #
• @sandchigger Any man who wants to put a gender cap on stats probably has a cap on Cha, Wis and their chance of procreating #
• @call_me_salome Personalisation like that would be one thing they could do without breaking the KISS element. Sadly they haven't again #
• @call_me_salome Only way I've found is In the top bar click the head & shoulders pick DM in the drop down then type the username to DM #
• @call_me_salome To me it screams: we don't want you to DM. Like stopping cutting & pasting links hard to stop old style retweets. #
• @call_me_salome The last version of web twitter would remove links cutting and pasting tweets to reduce the use of old style Re: Tweets #
• The High Lakes http://t.co/duc1HVrc A set of free maps and terrains renders for #rpg #
• Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter Good trailer but I can't help but think idea came from a random title generator table #
• @call_me_salome Maybe that's their financial model: charge us for a better interface or stop tweeting #
• @MarcUpdates Absolutely even when it mentions the involvment of someone who worked on Wanted in the trailer I still want to see it. #
• @Troppers #
• @AmpTheBard I'd heard it was worth a read but not picked it up yet. #
• @MarcUpdates lol. I just remember it as being meh and must have blanked that scene from my memory. #
• @Troppers Not quite so bad as just being ranted at then #
• @MarcUpdates I'd completely forgotten that scene. #
• @Troppers Sorry to hear that #
• How to tell you're getting old: Hot pants, a crop top & ankle boots on a day like today… she'll die of cold. #
• @MarcUpdates lol. Had it been Ugg Boots she'd have been determined to look daft. #
• @MarcUpdates Ugg boots remind me of the footware in baddly done illustrations of D&D barbarians #
• @MarcUpdates Star Trek reboot film best tribble cameo ever #
• @AmpTheBard I've added it to my wishlist to remind me to track a copy down #
• @MarcUpdates Its an easter egg in the ice world base where they meet Scotty. I only spotted it after it was pointed out to me. #
• @JamesWallis Does that mean they cost you $27,375,943.20? ($6,000,000 adjusted for inflation from 1974) #
• @cimota And just like Jeff Buckley's Grace they'll be stacking them high and selling them cheap as soon as sales drop. #
• @symatt There's space in there for dozens of the sneeze and you'll lose them d6 from Wizkids Pirates #
• @Troppers What sort? I'm assuming not somone from Poland #
• @Thisangelbites Film them & make £££ on the coats versions of Pets do the Funniest Things clip shows probably called Coats dtFT #
• @Troppers Ah the classic 10' pole. Not sure if they still stock them but Wilkos used to have cheap telescopic poles for about £5-10 #
• @dr_monkeyface Sort of look like oxidized aluminium. Maybe a bit more reflectivity? #
• @dr_monkeyface Did you get the metal looking how you wanted? #
• @UKdigitalforum Play them the @TheUkes version and confuse them even more #
• @dr_monkeyface That looks a lot better #
• Brain stretched coding this morning. Time to stretch legs. #
• RIBA exhibition London… A Place to call Home: Where we live and why http://t.co/gbmliDM4 #
• Dear @blackwellbooks I haven't changed my name or my gender since your last newsletter. Regards Lucy. Sorry you confused me. Regards Mark #
• @blackwellbooks No problem Is Lucy a softer, nicer 21st Century Spartacus? #
• @darkdwarf DVRs – boxes designed to watch stuff for you so you can just watch the good bits #
• Just back from the excellent The Muppets. #
• @darkdwarf Sounds like a plan. Keep the recording for a few days so it feels like you were going to watch it. #
• @TinManGames At 103 minutes not sure a two year old would but there were some pretty young kids in the theatre who watched it right through. #
• @TinManGames It plays to all ages, has a fair smattering of musical numbers & introduces the muppets. Plus for adults breaks 4th wall. #
• @simplychrista Thanks for the #ff #
• @DaddyDM Thanks for the #ff #
• @BrainClouds @Bloodshadows WordPress would be my first choice. If you want a second (hosted service) choice http://t.co/FDZQ8wQA. #
• @magisterrex Thanks for the #ff #
• Think I may just sleep for the next 48 hours or so #
• Small note to writers who want to appear accurate on British Intelligence Services: MI6 = SIS while M16 = Cancelled motorway now part of M25 #
• A little Saturday night writing because frankly it appears twitter is being dragged into the gutter by @call_me_salome #
• @greywulf How about Connor MacLeod's relatives brother Stinkin' MacLeod and Flamin' MacLeod? #
• @greywulf Miss Isle's French cousin Astra le Spell is quite magic to #
• @call_me_salome The typographical equivalent of a stick on velvet fig leaf #
• @MoonWolf95 @greywulf Walters cause bards difficulties separating the tales of of Stone, of Ice & of Thorns – all known as Wally to friends #
• @greywulf lol. I think I've run out now #
• @symatt lol. I got picked up by one touting reviews of Motorway services this morning. Who would want to follow that? #