Don't Call Us…
February 2, 2006 7:28 pm
This should be a short entry today because I’ve had enough of communicating for the day but I feel like a rant.
Had to make one visit to the shop I bought by new mobile from and three phone calls to a service centre just to get the number off the old phone transferred. The shop couldn’t transfer the number because the network’s web site was down. Each call to the service centre has those irritating automatic systems to wade through. Multi level menus with a little trick or two thrown in. The main trick being a neat little variation on counting. I’ll paraphrase it into the Impworks customer help to demonstrate:
“Good Evening welcome to the Impworks Pay as you Glow helpline. Please enter your 27 digit customer reference number.”
“Thank you. Please continue to use your telephone key pad to select options.”
I’d been planning to use the taps in the kitchen your right the phone will work better.
“In order to allow us to humiliate and berate our staff for trying to deal with you after you’ve been driven to the edge by my sweet sickly voice your phone calls may be recorded. We’d tell you this is for training and security purposes but we just like a good laugh at the most irate customers at the Halloween party.”
“We just halved our work force here so we can pay an extra penny on the dividend to our shareholders so we don’t have anyone who can speak to you yet and your call may take some time to connect to one of our representatives.”
“To buy new services Press 1.”
“To Sell a little more of your Soul Press 2.”
“For faults or repairs with your infernal mount Press 3.”
Ok got the little counting game down.
“To transfer your damnation to another provider or to transfer your damnation to us Press 4.”
So the next one will be 5.
“If your soul has been stolen or for any other services…”
The magic words “Any other services.” I hit 5.
“I’m sorry that option has not been recognised.”
Silly me after 4 I thought 5 would be next. The whole thing starts again. Sit through it all.
“If your soul has been stolen or for any other services or to speak to an adviser. Press 0.”
Yup that’s right after 4 comes 0. Even if you don’t slip up by jumping the gun it still takes 3 minutes before you get through the options maze to a cue to speak to someone.
Back to reality though. The first phone call wanted loads of security info that I didn’t have to hand. So I dug out everything he’d asked for and called again. The second time I got diverted to a different department because the one I needed to speak to was busy but they couldn’t help and couldn’t transfer the call to someone in the right department. The third call just transferred the number without any fuss or any of the info the first one had asked for.
Rant over. I feel better now.
*Twitch*
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